This post is about my first day of teaching here in Rennes (and also a play on the words of the song from Mulan, hence the title...but the lyrics are strangely appropriate!! It's all about being tough and brave, but also gentle and at peace...something I am definitely working on learning!) It was definitely a day of ups and downs, and so I thought it might be an interesting one to write about!
I only have 5 contact hours per week; 3 hours on a Tuesday, 1 on a Wednesday, and 1 on a Thursday. And then a 4 day weekend: perfect for travelling around and exploring! So this Tuesday just gone was my first official day after the craziness of signing up for all my classes on Monday, which we just about managed! I started with a TD (aka a seminar for all you British people, except there's about 40-50 students in each class!) in Méthodologie l'oral et l'écrit, which is basically how to survive oral exams (a common method of assessment here in all departments, not just languages) and written projects, and very useful for non-French speakers like myself! However, I didn't get off to a great start.
I got to the room about 10 minutes early and saw a crowd of students waiting outside so, obviously, I joined them, but then I saw someone else going in to my classroom. Confused, I asked the girl next to me if she was waiting for the same room as me, but she said she wasn't. Slightly panicked, I knocked and went in, only to find that the class had already started and the teacher was not impressed by the fact that I was late. I was even MORE confused because according to my phone, I was still a minute early, but I was definitely in the right class, so I did the walk of shame up to the front of the class and sat down. It later transpired that my phone was 4 minutes slow, hence my confusion! Anyway, the class was fine, and being at the front actually really helped me understand everything more easily! A lot of it was stuff I have already covered in Exeter, so that was reassuring...the girl next to me even asked me for help at one stage, and, even more shockingly, I seemed to give her the right answer!! The girl the other side of me showed me what exercise we were meant to be doing so I didn't get totally lost, so overall, not too bad. Class 1, check!
I then went to the library to go over my notes from the class before my next lecture, and then left a full 25 minutes early to make sure I wasn't late again. I found the lecture theatre easily enough - double doors with a sign saying Amphi B2 next to them - and I went in. There weren't many people sat down, but I was super early, so I selected a seat near the front and sat down to wait. However later on - with just three minutes to go until we were supposed to start - there were still very few people, so I asked the girl next to me if she was here for Littérature française. She wasn't. It turned out I was actually sitting in lecture theatre 3...the double doors in fact go to two different rooms, even though there is only one sign. So I grabbed my stuff and dashed next door, to find that - once again - my class had already started. Luckily the lecturer did not stop the lecture this time to highlight my embarrassment, and I just snuck in at the back. Phew. But I now realised my bigger predicament: because I was right at the back, I couldn't hear anything the lecturer was saying, much less understand it. One hour later, I had written down a random assortment of any words I could pick up, three names, and the fact that I needed to buy and read some books: but I didn't know which ones. Needless to say, I was somewhat demoralised.
I then returned to the library to try and make at least some sense of my notes before the TD that afternoon, and discovered that the three names I had written down were (I think?) the authors of the texts I need to read, but as he hadn't written the titles down on the board, I was still really none the wiser. I actually managed to get to this next class problem-free, which was a definite improvement, and although I could hear fairly clearly and understood a good chunk, there were definitely sections I didn't get. Hopefully none of the stuff I didn't get was too important!! It didn't help that I really struggled to read the teacher's writing on the board, but I have emailed him asking for a bibliography/any key points I might have missed, so hopefully I will be up to date by next week!
Anyway, a combination of the day's dramas, not understanding a fair amount, and missing uni life at home got me a bit down during the evening...so I must admit, I wallowed. Sometimes you need to just dust yourself off and get straight back out there, but other times you need to embrace the struggles, deal with them, and gear yourself up to face a new day. Both a Skype chat with my Mum and a friend from home, and a message to some of my other friends asking them to pray for me later, and I felt ready to face another day. It reminded me of this great quote I read on Pinterest a few weeks ago: 'Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow"'. So I did...and today was much better.
So when things get tough, take a leaf out of Mulan's book: get yourself together, put a brave face on, and trust that, with a bit of help, you will eventually come out the other side. Lesson Number One.
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