Generally I'm not quite as scared as I worried I might be at this stage. Things are starting to slot in to place and I'm crossing more and more things off my to do list, and although all these things do make the whole thing seem more real, they also help me to start imagining what life might be like in France. And it has to start feeling real at some point, preferably before I actually touch down at Rennes airport, just to save me from having a complete breakdown before we even leave the plane.
One of these 'real' things is the buddy scheme my uni in Rennes has in place, whereby each international student is allocated a marraine to help them with practical things and generally to settle in during the first few weeks. The word marraine doesn't really have a direct English translation; the closest we have is 'godmother', which just reminds me of Cinderella and makes me imagine my godmother as having a fairy wand and crown. Which isn't an unpleasant association...I love Cinderella, but chances are my godmother won't wear a crown on an everyday basis. But despite this, we have had a few email exchanges and she seems so lovely and friendly, and has offered to come with me and do all the scary things like opening a bank account and things so I don't get too confused!! So that is just amazing, and I'm very excited to meet her and her other 'godchildren' when I arrive; as well as me, she is also going to be looking after two girls from Brazil and Spain, which is exciting! This may also give me an opportunity to keep up my Spanish when I'm out there, just so I don't completely forget it all!
I am also FINALLY at the point where I have pretty much finished my pre-departure to-do list, having signed and sent my landlady the housing contract, filled in and sent my Erasmus forms to Rennes, re-applied for student finance, booked my flights, and bought things for my flat/ordered my photos to decorate my room with. All that's left is to organise how I'm going to get my keys to the flat, get Exeter to sign my Erasmus forms once Rennes return them, and see if I can take my guitar on the plane with me. The last one of these is obviously the most important; what will I do without Ed (named after Ed Sheeran) next year if I can't take him?! Stressful times.
So all this is very exciting, but what do you do when all the admin is done and all that's left on the list is to actually go? This is the bit that is currently freaking me out. I'm really enjoying being at home and just chilling with my family, but the idea of having to do this in 2 weeks is constantly there, and it is getting harder and harder not to worry and stress about it. There are some things I'm excited about, and a big part of me just wants to get on and do it now, and get the first few difficult weeks done, but still. Moving abroad is scary. Here's how I am trying (and probably failing) to cope:
- skype. Both with my uni friends who are staying in Exeter next year, and those who are also going abroad; they offer different points of view, but both help you keep it all in perspective. Your friends at home reassure you that they won't forget you as soon as you leave, and your friends who are also going abroad remind you that you're not alone
- ThirdYearAbroad. Similarly, the blogs and advice on this site encourage you that thousands of other students have done this before you and survived, and you can do it too
- enjoy home. Make the most of watching your favourite films and programmes (ahem, Bake Off) with your family, going on days out together, and generally enjoying your last couple of weeks in the green and pleasant land that is England
- don't think about it when you're feeling especially rubbish/about to go to sleep. I find that when I'm feeling worse than usual, for whatever reason, I tend to wallow and then think about how awful France is going to be, which is untrue, counter-productive, and totally unhelpful. It builds negative associations which you just don't need, and worrying about it as you are about to go to sleep just keeps you awake unnecessarily; again, not particularly helpful
- I have a couple of key Bible verses which I cling to when I can't remember why I'm doing this, or start thinking I won't be able to get through it; sometimes all you can do is repeat them to yourself over and over until they start to sink in. My go-to ones are Isaiah 43:2, Psalm 46:1-2 and Romans 8:31
- focus on the exciting things. When the scary things start to overwhelm me, I try and think of everything I'm excited about. There's always something to look forward to, often lots of things, and focusing on these helps me put the worry back in perspective and see this opportunity for what it is; an OPPORTUNITY
Woah this has turned out to be a long post, and still it's a massively simplified version of all my thoughts and feelings relating to my YA; we'd be here all day - and probably in to next week - if I wrote down everything that's going through my head right now. And you'd probably be concerned I was going insane. So I'll leave it there, but I hope this has helped any future year abroaders...emotional roller coasters are very normal pre-departure it seems!!
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