The Wednesday Saga

Once upon a time, there were two little British Erasmus students studying at a French university, who wanted to take a second year literature module. Their quest to study this module was fraught with trials and tribulations, as they battled the evil French Administration to get to their first class. Let me tell you the tale...

PART 1

I had a somewhat...interesting morning last Wednesday. Having finally established that classes did indeed start last week (despite us having received no start date or information on how to sign up, even though it's completely different to last semester) and designed my timetable once more, I naively thought that maybe I had finally cracked the French administrative system. How wrong I was.

Ellie and I arrived at the designated room between just before 9:30am, when our class was meant to start. As there wasn't anyone waiting outside we went straight in and sat down, only to discover we had accidentally stumbled into the end of a sports science lecture! As we were already sat down we decided just to wait, and a couple of minutes later a few other latecomers seemed to make the same mistake. At this point the teacher stopped the lecture, and asked these students if they were from Europe...they said they weren't, and she then turned to all of us and explained in a fairly patronising way that this wasn't our class, that she would leave and another teacher would come in and take our lecture. Not sure that was entirely necessary, but there we go: sadly I'm fairly used to French teachers making fun of non-French students at the front of classes, so we just stayed where we were. But as time went on she showed no signs of slowing down: more students came in, and she 'jokingly' asked one of them if they were a teacher (the poor girl looked very confused and worried!)...at one point she just got up and left the room for a couple of minutes right in the middle of teaching which was odd. At almost 9:50 we finally decided to leave, and went quietly to the door...only to discover she had locked it! (unless someone else had come along in the last 25 minutes and locked it when there was a class inside, which seems unlikely!) So we then had to go back in sheepishly and out the other door. I feel like locking the door was a bit of an over reaction, and when we were walking away I looked behind me and saw her standing in the corridor watching us leave. Kind of weird, but she let us go so I guess it could have been worse!!

To try and figure out where we had gone wrong, we went to the big emplois du temps timetables in the main department building: neither the lecture nor any of the seminars for our module were there, even though they had been a mere 48 hours before. Panicking slightly that we were going to have to try and find 6 credits from somewhere else, we went to the department secretary, who was very friendly and checked it for us. She confirmed that the module wasn't there, and when I asked if it had been cancelled, she said yes. I was ready to leave and spend the day moaning about the complete disorganisation of French university, but luckily Ellie had the sense to double check whether the module was totally cancelled or not: at this the secretary assured us that no it wasn't completely cancelled, the class would be back on next week. Great.

So there we have it...a morning of sports science lectures, teachers locking us in lecture theatres, timetables changing within a couple of days with no warning, and answers completely changing based on whether a question has the word 'completely' in or not. Oh France....what are we going to do with you?!

At this point, I foolishly thought our troubles with this module were over. Oh how wrong I was...

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PART 2

So this morning, Ellie and I went back to Amphi B2 at 9:30 for take 2 of our battle with this module: I had already checked both the paper timetable (which hadn't been updated since last week) and the online timetable (which said the module was on as we expected, in this room and at this time) earlier in the week. When we arrived, we were thankfully not greeted by a room full of sports science students....in fact, there were only 6 people in there. Including us. This was obviously a problem, and even the other French students didn't know what was going on. Ellie checked the online timetable again, and the module wasn't on there...once again the timetable had changed in the last 48 hours. After waiting a few minutes, one group decided to go and ask secretary whilst I checked the paper timetable again. Although they had now updated the paper timetable to include this week's classes, our module was again nowhere to be seen. The department secretary had told Ellie that the teacher was absent again this week, and that next week's class was supposed to be happening but as he hadn't been here for 2 weeks she wasn't sure. We went back up to the boards to see if there were any other modules we could do, but there weren't any obvious ones on the 2nd year board, so we looked at the 1st year board...and saw a piece of paper under the 1st year timetable from the teacher of our module, telling us he wouldn't be taking his classes today. Apparently a note on the wrong board is sufficient if a class is cancelled for the second week in a row.

So my plan currently is to hope that the module is on next week, as there aren't many other classes I could replace it with, and I don't really want to have to catch up on 2 weeks of work on a different module! So fingers crossed our teacher turns up next week. Stay tuned for the next instalment of the Wednesday Saga, coming to you from an-initially-angry-but-now-fairly-resigned-to-it-all-Erasmus-student.

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PART 3

I thought I'd fill you all in on what happened this morning: firstly, I feel I should say that I had had a pretty rubbish day yesterday, just generally feeling really homesick and unwelcome at uni here, so I really needed today to be better. And thankfully, it was! Both classes were on as we expected, and the teacher was really lovely. Unlike some other teachers here, he was helpful and friendly, and actually acknowledged the struggles of being an Erasmus student and was supportive of that. He gave us an email address we could contact him on if we were panicking, and said we could write our essays in the same structure and style as we would in our own country, which is such a massive help! He was just really welcoming and clear in his explanations, which was exactly what I needed today. He also turned out to be British...his name is Steve, and there was something really comforting about hearing him say English titles every now and then in a very English accent!! So thank you Steve...you really made my day.

I'm back! (both in France and online)

With a new year inevitably comes my resolution to write more blog posts....I can't quite believe it only took 2 months for me to stop posting regularly on my blog, but there we go. In truth, there are a couple of reasons I didn't post last half term: one, I just got out of the habit and kept forgetting, and two, I had quite a few weeks when I felt really homesick, and although I said I wanted to be as honest as possible here I found it really hard to admit I was struggling when I was still actually in it, as opposed to in retrospect. To compensate though, here is a quick summary (with photos!) of a few of the fun things I did last half term:

went to Paris for a weekend to visit some fellow YAers, which happened to coincide with the November shootings...scary stuff. So the weekend was really one of two parts: the first day was full of exploring, catching up with the lovely Sarah who is doing her YA in Spain, and soaking up the beauty of Paris, whereas Day 2 was more about news reports, reassuring people back at home that I was OK, indoor picnics and then wandering round a very sombre yet determined Paris. It was a surreal thing to experience, being so close to something so huge that so many people were talking about around the world, but we didn't hear or see anything which was something of a miracle, and all got back safely, for which I am very grateful!!

The stunning Musée d'Orsay

Ah, belle Paris

Me and Sarah at the end of a wonderful day

These were all over the city the day after the attacks

Love beautiful Parisian streets like this one!

Christmas market shopping in Nantes. There was a lovely little Christmas market in Rennes throughout December, but Nantes definitely outdid us with all their markets! Dani, Ellie and I had a very festive day wandering around the various stalls, buying lots of Christmas presents, and then dinner at a really cute restaurant in the city.

The château nantaise

Dani and Ellie in the main Christmas market

There were so many, that this one was simply called 'the other market'

Tough decisions at the tea stand

Well earned rest at the end of a long day of...ahem...shopping

had my friend Ruth to stay, who is currently doing her YA in Metz in Eastern France. It was lovely to be able to show her round and do all the typical rennais things, such as eating crêpes (of course), going to the science museum in Les Champs Libres, looking round the Christmas market, visiting parc du Thabor (one of my favourite places in Rennes), and generally wandering around République and Sainte Anne so she could get a feel for the city.

Showing Ruth round and discovering a cool metalworks market

This bit of the park really reminds me of Narnia

Ruth enjoying exploring!

And then a few miscellaneous adventures:

Mum and Dad came to visit, so obviously another trip to the Christmas market was needed

My parents at the Christmas market

Mum and I enjoying some cheeky churros

shopping in Grand Quartier with Ellie, and getting very excited about Christmas due to these extravagantly festive furry friends

Are these really necessary...?

a thoroughly British Christmas with Dani and Ellie in our last week

Two very full and happy people 

Celebrating Christmas in style

I hope these photos make up for my complete lack of any updates recently, and give you a little taste of the highlights of my Frenchy life!!

Mamma mia, here we go again...

So I've been back in France for a couple of weeks now, and thought I should fill you in on what's been going on! So first of all, my flight back on the Sunday night was cancelled due to fog in the UK, and after queuing for 4 and a half hours at the airport I was eventually transferred on to the next available flight, on Wednesday morning. This meant that I would end up missing 4 out of my 5 classes of the week, which was kind of frustrating as there almost seemed no point in going back that week at all!! That's one of the odd things about the Year Abroad: the amount of time we spend in compulsory classes is actually pretty small (for British Council and studying at least), which often makes me feel like I have no real 'reason' to be in France. Obviously the compulsory 'reason' for me being here isn't really the point, it's all about the other stuff that comes with just being in the country, and using the language: the studying is really just an excuse to be here, if that makes any sense! Anyway, I booked on to the Wednesday flight, and enjoyed a couple of bonus days at home with my parents (who I'd actually hardly seen, seeing as I had spent the week in Exeter and not with them...they're very long-suffering!!).

Lunch with my Mummy

These days were lovely, but in some ways really odd because I had geared myself up to go back at the weekend, and so it felt a bit like I had been building up to an exam which had been postponed! But I did feel a lot more ready to go back to France come Wednesday, and had had the chance to get over the worst of my Exeter homesickness whilst I still had the comforts of home around me! Inevitably I had a couple of panic moments when I arrived back: getting back on the bus going back the other way for another 7 weeks was not easy, but in fact the first few days altogether were much better than I had imagined they might be! I couldn't help but compare it to the last time I arrived in Rennes, terrified and knowing I had an uphill struggle to create a routine and some sort of normality, and I realised how much more settled I was this time! I had a routine, I knew people here, and I had done all the stressful and scary admin/settling in stuff already. Plus, I realised I only have a couple of empty weekends until Christmas: all the others were taken up with fun trips and visits! The weekends are often the most difficult days because they're really long (I don't have classes on Fridays and Mondays) and whereas normally I would be thrilled about having extra time to do fun things and see friends and family, I have a much shorter list of these things here that I can fill my free time with, so unless I actively plan stuff to do, I can get to Tuesday morning feeling bored, unproductive and pretty lonely. One such exciting event I had planned was dinner with Ellie and another girl from Exeter who is doing British Council not far from Rennes: we were at the restaurant for hours eating and drinking sangria, and reminiscing about life in Exe!

Amazing food and cocktails, and lots of laughter: perfect dinner date

Ellie and I ended up going for crêpes the night before as well, completely spontaneously...basically we were looking at restaurants and getting really hungry, and neither of us could be bothered to cook, so I suggested we go to Crêperie Sainte Anne (my favourite one), as Ellie had yet to sample their amazing crêpes. And as we tell ourselves every time we feel like maybe we go out for dinner too often, Exeter specifically tell us to work on our intercultural competence over this year, and really absorb the local culture...how can we do that if we're not eating crêpes regularly? It's as essential to our degrees as grammar exercises and essays. Anyway, they were insanely good, as always.

We were beyond hungry at this point

So that was my first week back! The weekend was pretty busy too, doing washing and shopping and making biscuits for church on Sunday as I was helping out with the kids for the first time, which was so much fun. I was slightly worried that I wouldn't be able to understand them/they wouldn't be able to understand me, but it was completely fine, and they were so hilarious and welcoming. It was so refreshing to spend time with them and look at life through their eyes, and be reminded of how simple everything really is!

That brings me on to Week 2, which was less great. I just started feeling really homesick halfway through the week, and struggled to get myself out of that...possibly because in the first week I'd managed to keep myself busy and stave off homesickness for the most part, but then as last week was much quieter my mind drifted towards home more often! But I felt better towards the end of the week and much better today as I got on with getting things done and organising life again...hopefully this week will be better!

Finally, I'm sure many of you will have seen my brief Facebook updates from my trip to Paris this weekend, but I will also be writing a post about it all soon to talk about it in a bit more detail. So until then mes amis!

Homecoming

I need to apologise to you all, dear readers, for being completely MIA in the last month. Nothing disastrous has happened, in fact quite the opposite: I have actually begun to settle in to a regular routine here in France, and as the constant newness started to go I just felt like there wasn't as much to write about! And then I was at home for Reading Week and super busy, and just enjoying being back with my family and friends, so again my blog took a bit of a back seat. So now that I'm sitting here having finished my first week back in Brittany for stage 2 of my year abroad, I decided it was about time I update you all! I'm going to split the last few weeks into two separate posts: this one will be about the last week of stage 1 and Reading Week, and then I will do another post in the next few days about my first week back. Here we go!

So the last week before I went home really dragged to be perfectly honest. I had a fairly empty weekend which I generally don't like, as ironically I often end up being very unproductive if I have no set plans! I did eventually manage to get some things done like washing, present buying and scanning grant agreements back to Exeter, but that 4 day weekend can be an absolute killer unless I really make an effort to keep myself busy! Ellie and I did use the time to make a slightly pale lemon cake though...despite not having any scales, not knowing how to convert the oven temperature, and completely guessing which of the many French flours was equivalent to self-raising.

Desperate times...

The finished article

Once I got to Tuesday it started to speed up a bit as I had lessons for the rest of the week, and then I was busy packing and getting everything ready to go home. It was a weird week, because on the one hand I was so excited to go home, and so proud that I had made it so far, but it felt like the week before Christmas: I've literally never known time go so slowly!

I wrote a few thoughts down the night before I went home, and thought I'd share a few of them with you here. My overwhelming feeling was pride (and not in the usual not-so-great sense, for once). I couldn't believe I'd actually made it to the end of that 7 weeks without having to go home or having a total breakdown, and the sense of achievement I felt in boarding the plane almost made all the difficulties worth it, just for that (I said almost). I was also unbelievably grateful to God for His incredible faithfulness in sticking with me through the hardest times, and never giving up on me or leaving me, and for carrying me through. It was such a massive moment for me, because I had done something I honestly believed I couldn't do, which I had been dreading for years, and which truly pushed me to my limit. I would say that's the biggest thing I've learnt so far from my YA: that I am stronger and tougher than I thought I was, and that my God is bigger than I thought He was. As I sat in Costa at Southampton airport on probably the worst morning of my life, throwing up every five minutes and shaking, the thought of getting on a plane to come home again in almost 2 months seemed totally unattainable. I don't think I'm over exaggerating (which is rare for me) when I say that nothing in my life has ever seemed more impossible. But, finally, it was done. And words can't really describe how I felt, to be able to say that.

My friend sent me this quote with a few others before I came to France, and although I really liked them at the time, I don't think I truly understood their depth: but this one summed up my feelings on that day perfectly.

"It always seems impossible until it's done"

Nelson Mandela

The seat in Costa where I sat 7 weeks ago, trying not to be sick

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Anyway, after that deep and emotional reflection, on to the fun stuff!! My journey got off to an interesting start, in that I was stopped at French security and asked to unpack my suitcase, which was fairly terrifying, and also really annoying because my bag had been packed and repacked very precisely to fit everything in (I felt a bit like Monica in this clip). So the security unpacked all my stuff while I tried not to weep at the prospect of having to get it all back in...and then he came to the biscuit tin (I had bought my Mum a really cute French biscuit tin as a present. Back to the story) which - as I was so tight on space - I had packed full of underwear. I then had to try and explain to him (in French) that yes that was a biscuit tin, but no it didn't have biscuits in, but in fact my knickers and socks, because my case was so packed. I'm pretty sure he, all the other security staff, and all the other passengers thought I was crazy at this point. He proceeded to unpack all my carefully folded knickers, before saying that yes that was all fine and yes I could repack my case. It then took me about 15 minutes to get it all back in, and the guard had to come back over to lean on it whilst I zipped it shut. Not my finest or most dignified hour. Moving on swiftly.

 So I was slightly concerned I might break down in tears when I got to UK Border Control (that's one of my favourite bits of coming back in to a UK airport...the staff always seem to be so friendly, and make me very glad to be back!) as I often get a bit emotional even after just a few days away! I felt myself tear up a bit when we landed and I saw all the signs in English, and a massive 'Welcome to Southampton' sign, but luckily I managed to keep it together, even when the Border Control person asked me if I had been on holiday: I managed to hurriedly reply 'no actually I'm studying out there and I'm home to see my family and friends' without choking. In fact, I managed to hold it together until I came through arrivals and saw my Mum. And then I cried. But it was OK: it's not the first time I've cried in Costa, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Back on home soil at last!

After a lovely 24 hours or so at home catching up with Mum and Dad, we were on the M4 to the West Country, and I was at last reunited with my housemates in Exeter!! It's probably not surprising that there was a part of me that worried whether it would be the same when I got back. They had all been living together for almost 2 months while I was in another country, and I must admit I was a bit nervous that things would feel different, or that I would struggle to go back to our uni life after everything that had happened in France, or that they would have moved on without me. Luckily, none of those things were true. We just picked up where we left off, and after half an hour of chatting in the kitchen and then at the pub down the road (which we meant to go to all last year but never actually made it to!) I was reminded how lucky I am to have these people in my life. Super cheesy I know, but then this has been a pretty emotional post throughout, so I thought I'd continue the theme. As far as I felt I had come in France, this group of crazy British students know me better than almost anyone else, and I realised how much I had missed being able to be 100% myself with people who completely share my sense of humour, know all my little quirks and who I have so much history with. Cringey as it sounds, I really felt like a puzzle piece that had been put back in its rightful place!!

The whole week was just amazing: I had told myself that I wouldn't worry about France or put pressure on anything, but just love being back, and I did. I went out for way too many lunches and coffees, and did almost nothing productive, but I had - quite simply - the best week ever. I loved just doing normal things with my friends like going to CU, watching films, having coffee in our favourite places, going up to campus and just hanging out in each other's houses chatting or working (well they worked, I distracted them). I took a woefully small number of photos, but this was mostly because I was so busy enjoying myself that I forgot to take any more! But here are a couple that I did take:

Lunch with the gals

Beautiful Exeter

Tea with Jules

Dragging the boys to a cute teashop

So there you have it! All in all, a week that lived up to my ridiculously high expectations: to have the chance to go back to my wonderful university life when my brain had forced itself to let go and move on (to an extent) in order to really embrace France was such a gift. I felt all week like I was living on bonus, borrowed time, like someone who had been out of uni for years and wished they could go back to their heyday. I felt so lucky not only to have had this life, but to have the chance to appreciate it even more than I did last year, because I had lost it and then found it again.

Roll on February half term!!

French snapshot 2

So here we are again...the end of another week (I have now completed an entire month of my year abroad!) and another French life post. Enjoy!


Cultural Curiosities:

• things closing. Literally, things close at the craziest times here! I knew pretty much all shops close on Sundays in France, so I was prepared for this and bought milk etc. on Saturday ready, but have been caught out many other times with the weird opening hours of other places. For example, I went to the bank a total of 3 times to try and get my bank card, and discovered not only is it closed on Sundays, but also Saturday afternoons AND all day Monday too. Now Saturday I can vaguely understand, but Monday?! What is going on. Some places also close on Friday afternoons, such as the department secretary's office at uni...so basically, the French have a 3.5 day working week it seems
• Freshers, and student life in general. This is a pretty big difference, and mostly stems from the fact that most French students don't move away from home to go to uni, and so student life is much more like school. People go to uni in the day, and many go home to their parents in the evening: when I tell French students that I live with my friends at uni, and my parents live two and a half hours away, they find it really weird. Students just don't have the same expectations of uni here: they seem to see it mainly as simply a continuation of their education, whereas for us it's a chance to move away and gain independence, and a completely different way of life. This is probably most obvious in the lack of societies and events at French unis compared to British ones, and just the fact that life is a lot more 'normal' here when you're a student, as opposed to the all-consuming, once-in-a-lifetime, emotional roller coaster experience that I have experienced. I have to say, studying somewhere else has made me realise why so many foreign students come to Britain to study: British unis really are the best. They just are. I take pride in wearing my Exeter hoody round campus every once in a while, just to feel extra patriotic
• weighing vegetables. In supermarkets here you have to weigh your vegetables yourself on a little scale, and then stick the price on the bag before taking it to the till. This caught me out first time I did it, and I had to walk back down the queue with my head down all the way back to the fruit and veg section so I could weigh my 2 carrots

PS Last time I wrote about the curiosity of pedestrian crossings here, and how I had stopped thanking drivers when I crossed because no one else did. I thought you would all be pleased to know, I have now started doing it again, because I just think it's nice. I'm waving my little Union Jack as I cross the road (metaphorically, obviously) and trying to change the world, one wave at a time

Linguistic Lessons:

• prayer words. Praying in another language is something I hadn't really thought about before I came to France, but it's quite difficult! Mostly because we tend to speak slightly differently when we're praying, which is hard to replicate in a second language, and also because I realised I didn't know a lot of key prayer words! But having done some vocab research, listened lots to other people praying in French, and done some practise myself, I think I'm improving...my prayers don't consist of me repeating the same few words and phrases again and again at least!
• my conversation is definitely better already: I can slip in to speaking French much more easily, and am now much better at small talk and just generally chatting in French. I was very pleased when 3 people commented one Sunday at church on how good my French was! I also find it easier to think in French, and do that sort of 'running commentary' thing we do when we are doing something with other people...although I definitely still need some practise at that!
• understanding passers-by. I always used to find it really hard to understand snippets of conversation in French when I was back in the UK, but now that I'm here and so used to hearing French being spoken I've found that I'm sort of 'tuned in' all the time, and so can pick up phrases without really listening or intending to like I can in English, which is very exciting!

Things I'm grateful for:

• church. My church here has just been fantastic: everyone has been so friendly and welcoming, and I already feel really at home there. I'm so grateful for people's openness and willingness to chat, my life group, lots of French practise, and also lots of English speakers for a bit of a break! They're quite simply brilliant, and probably my biggest answer to prayer.
• printing. Some of you may know that printers and keys are my two arch nemeses (is that the plural of nemesis? nemeses?), but in the last couple of weeks I have discovered not just how to print on the initially insanely complicated uni printers, but also how to scan and print, AND how to scan and then email a document! I literally never thought I would ever learn how to do these things, and had seriously started planning how I was going to cope writing everything out by hand and then having to send it all by post, so I'm so happy I somehow managed to do it!
• letters. I have received a few letters in the last couple of weeks, and they're just such massive encouragements: looking in our postbox and seeing a letter or finding one on our kitchen table with 'Miss Katie Watson' written on the envelope, just completely brightens up my day! And I love having a legitimate reason to write to people and use my sealing wax and stamp, so that's a bonus. Hint hint people.

Exploration...and lots of photos!

Today Ellie and I decided to take advantage of probably one of the last sunny days before winter starts to kick in, and go for a picnic in one of the parks in Rennes. We got the metro to Sainte Anne in the centre of town, and then walked to Parc du Thabor, which is (I think?) the biggest park in the city centre (there is another massive one just outside the city, which is on my bucket list!). I had seen photos of it on Google and it looked stunning, and definitely didn't disappoint! It was kind of divided into sections: the French-looking section, complete with an orangerie...

And then a more English-looking section, with a big lawn and tall trees round the side...

And finally a woodland type section, with gravel paths and lots of trees, like the grounds of a National Trust house:

A random bird house

A super cute little hideaway!

I felt very French with my baguette and cheese and my little French cakes, on a picnic blanket in a park just like all the other French people around us! Except then a park attendant person came and told us that picnic blankets weren't allowed on this section of grass...whereas the section just over there was fine. It literally made no sense, but as everyone else got up to leave, we thought we probably should too!

Ellie and our picnic blanket!

After we had finished our picnic, we had a wander round the park, and then came out and explored the streets around the main entrance. We happened to come across the other garden we had wanted to visit, Jardin Saint Georges, which is in front of an amazing palace. The garden is much smaller and more ordered, but really pretty nonetheless, and the palace was stunning. It seems to be currently used as a police station, which seems a bizarre use for it!

I was also slightly confused to see what I'm convinced was a patch of chillies in the flower bed...can someone with a bit more horticultural knowledge tell me if they are in fact chillies?!

After this chili (apparently that's how you spell it) confusion, we continued wandering down to République and then back up to Sainte Anne, which is the centre of the historic bit of the city, and an area we know pretty well now! However, Ellie did show me this AMAZING chocolate shop which I hadn't seen before: rows upon rows of incredible flavours of macarons, pic n mix chocolates, biscuit boxes, little multi-coloured meringues, and pots of salted caramel...which came with a tiny silver spoon to eat it with. Or probably to spoon it onto stuff with, but I would just use it to eat the caramel straight out of the pot to be honest. I will leave you with a couple of pictures from this amazing gem of a shop, which I will most definitely be visiting again soon!

A bientôt!

The rainbow after the rain

So the last couple of weeks have been tough, to say the least. Moving your entire life to another country is really hard, no matter what your expectations, and it takes a while to adjust. I felt like I did everything I could to prepare, and tried to be as realistic as possible once I arrived, but it's still been really hard. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm miserable all the time, or that everything is awful...it's just that a lot of normal things suddenly become really difficult, and when you leave your family, friends, country and life all behind, it can be hard to pick yourself up after those things the way you would at home. Safe to say, the last couple of weeks have felt like a bit of an uphill struggle in many ways. I had been praying every day for a breakthrough, just something to really encourage me and keep me going, because I had started to feel like I was running really low on energy and finding it hard to carry on.

And today, that breakthrough came.

I woke up this morning with a sore throat, a headache, and the beginnings of a cold (not an ideal start), but I went to church anyway, planning to sleep it off later in the day. On the way there, I was listening to this song by Kari Jobe, and these lyrics really stood out to me:

"When I waited so long, when my tears were my song

With my hope nearly gone You held me God...

Your songs have never stopped

You've been singing, always singing over me"

This song is so full of joy, and I found myself thinking, 'I can't wait to be in that place again where I feel that joyful, and can truly praise Him for how He has come through for me'. I imagined myself being back in Exeter (I'm going back for a visit in just under 5 weeks) and feeling that bubble of happiness because I know He has carried me through. I've always thought I would have these amazing stories of incredible things He has brought out of this year: of how I trusted Him and He used that for His glory. But so far I don't have any miraculous stories like that. And it made me feel like I was wasting my time.

I arrived at church, and immediately someone came and started chatting to me, and she remembered me from my visit with Mum in July. I sat next to a lovely woman through the service, and another lady came to pray for me as well, so by the time the service ended I was already feeling encouraged. But after the service, so many people came and introduced themselves, and were just so friendly and interested: there was no reserve or formality, they were just so eager to welcome me in. People were introducing me to other students, and constantly coming and introducing themselves and asking me about my studies and where I was from. It turns out the woman I was sat next to works for a group called Agape, who - amongst other things - organise events for young Christians in Rennes, and she quickly asked if I wanted to be involved, and someone else came came up to me and another student and asked if we would like to be in a small group. I was really keen to get involved in church, but - as with everything else over the last few weeks - I thought I would have to go through a long and arduous journey in order to get it. The relief of having someone else take the initiative, and do all the organising on my behalf, was incredible. The combination of feeling so included, people's friendliness, and just the fact that people would literally be lining up to introduce themselves or would readily join in a conversation to make sure they didn't miss saying hello, meant that I left really feeling like I was on Cloud Nine. I know it sounds like such a small and insignificant thing, but I had spent weeks feeling like the awkward foreigner, and feeling so frustrated that everything was so hard and seemingly everyone was against me, that people going out of their way to include me, and not waiting for me to ask but offering help readily was honestly the most refreshing thing in the world.

As I walked away, I just couldn't stop smiling. I put my headphones back on, and listened to the song again: except this time, I really related to the words. He had brought me that breakthrough I had been praying for and eagerly awaiting, and I felt for the first time truly happy in France. I'm glad there wasn't anyone around, because I was singing along under my breath and laughing to myself all along the pavement...it was all I could do to keep myself from dancing down the road!!

This is definitely not the end of the difficulties: rather, the end of the beginning, but God is finally starting to show me what I might be doing here. And He's already taught me that hard as it is doing admin, and making new friends, and adjusting to a new culture...joy is always found in Him, and Him alone. Those other things going well all help a lot, but the only thing that has given me true joy here is a real connection with Him. If I have that and nothing else, I can be happy, but I have found that if I have everything except that, I never am. It took stripping everything else away, removing every other support, to make me realise how firm a foundation He truly is.

Sorry that this has become such a ramble, but I needed to share it, and often these kind of things are hard to properly explain!! But let me leave you with one simple thing I've learned through all this pain. Whether you know God or not, wherever you are in life, whatever you feel you need: believe. I promise He will come through for you, however long it takes.